Kibitzing in Kitzbuhel

“KIBITZ” – to chat, converse – from the Yiddish “kibitsen”- from the German “Kiebitzen”

You never quite know the impact you have on a client…

Last September I was sitting in my office at home working on my expenses when my phone rang, “Hello Gary! This is Henry!”

Henry is one of my favorite German clients. He works for a consulting company in their Hamburg office and his star is most certainly on the ascendant!

Henry is an extraordinary man. He runs the Sahara Marathon – 160 miles in six stages over seven days in temperatures of 55°C/130°F with a backpack. Very few people qualify to run the Sahara Marathon. He loves the ballet, art and literature. He plays piano and the cello and is part of a chamber quartet with his wife who he has four children with.

As you can see, Henry is a very busy man; he’s always chasing his tail and consequently late for most meetings.

I finished my Speaker Development Program with Henry in May 2009 and the last I heard from him was an e-mail exchange in Oct 2009:

Dear Gary
Hope you are fine. A quick question for help: I have been nominated for the election to a seat on our Global Leadership Board. Very surprising to me…

I am not surprised by this. He continued:

…I am one of 10 candidates who have been asked to write a statement saying why they think they should be on the board and what they will bring to it. I thought I’d send it to you, because I thought a lot about our sessions writing it. I have to file it tonight. Any input from you I will be happy take on.

It was Columbus Day in the US so I had time to read the draft statement Henry had written.

His message was strong and clear: “I want to build bridges”.

But the Henry I know and love was not there. He shied away from the work we had done on his guiding values. I remind him of this, sending him the list of values and his declaration and asking which of those values connect most to what he wants to say.

The next morning there is another e-mail from him…

Gary,
You are so great! After your e-mail I sat down and worked another five hours based on your input.
Thank you.

As I read the final draft he had attached I could tell that he was inspired and enthused – my Henry was back!

The redraft was wonderful: full of passion, humanity, fairness, humility, respect, self esteem, beauty of language and fun – his ‘forgotten’ values.

It told stories of his running the Sahara Marathon, how his mother got him to start playing the piano, and talked of his love of music, art and literature.

I gave the statement a few more tweaks and sent it back to him.

Almost a month to the day, I get a further email from Henry – in the subject box it says “Election – Ballot Results”. He had forwarded me the email that was sent to all of the five hundred plus partners at his company.

Dear Partners,

This email announces the results of the final election round for the open at-large seat on the Global Leadership Board.  Henry Xxxxxxx was the highest vote recipient and therefore will be nominated for formal election at Thursday morning’s meeting of the Board of Directors.

Congratulations to Henry and our thanks to all of the other nominated candidates for their participation in the election process.

There is a P.S. from Henry.

Gary,
Thanks for your coaching and training! Good pay back. I am now on the Global Leadership Board, the only non-senior partner. This stuff really works!  See you soon.
Henry.

That ‘soon’ turned out to be early in 2011 – me kibitzing in Kitzbuhel in Austria at a swanky five star ski resort – I do not ski.

Henry had asked me if I would be part of a two-day event he was organizing for his company about “Connecting With The Client”. He wanted me to give three forty-five minute talks about the work we do.

My calendar says I am free on the date, so I say “Yes.”

At Kitzbuhel, a two hour drive from Munich, I talk to the groups about “Connection not Perfection”. I tell them that no matter whether the audience is one or one hundred, everyone needs to feel seen and involved. Connecting who you are, your stories and values to your content will enable connection with your audience and achieving the impact desired.

At the dinner that night, in a quaint Austrian chalet, one of the participants makes an after dinner speech. He is full of fascinating stories about the people he has met throughout his career. It is delightful to see such an experienced speaker use the techniques I have been discussing earlier in the day. I know this was not new to him. But to my surprise, he says he has in fact learned something from me earlier in the day – to really see his audience. So it seems you can teach an old dog new tricks!

Later that night Henry has his arm around my shoulder, he is very pleased with how the event went and is disappointed that I won’t be joining him on the piste the next morning – I’m not – I have an early flight back to New York.  Another round of drinks is ordered and we toast Henry, the event, the New Year and then…start kibitzing.

Gary Lyons is a Senior Coach at The TAI Group leading individual engagements and group workshops in Leadership and Communications. Read more from Gary.

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